This week’s blog is the third in the series on Gordon T. Smith’s book Alone With The Lord which gives a good structure for spending a day alone with God.  From the first part of the day focusing on the assurance of God’s love, Smith then moves on to the “Convicting and Liberating Ministry of the Spirit”.

Many of us are familiar with a number of voices in our lives which have a convicting ministry.  Usually our parents are major players in this, convicting us of forgotten chores, inappropriate behaviours, the appearance of our rooms, or any number of other things.  Other authority figures – bosses, teachers, etc. – also convict us of our mistakes and failures.  We live in a society where there is no shortage of judgments to be made on our lives and no shortage of people to make those judgments.  But the harshest and most demanding judge in my life and in lives of many comes from our own hearts.  We judge ourselves heavily so others will judge us well and we sometimes hold ourselves up to standards that can never be met.  

As we are well aware, conviction and judgment bring with them fear, anxiety, failure and similar feelings.  So, given the amount of conviction we already feel, many of us are averse to going to God for more of the same.  Yet at the same time we don’t imagine that He would receive us in any other way.  I’m sure this is part of the reason Smith began with the Assurance of God’s Love.  It was in the first session that we were reminded that God’s love for us is first and foremost in His heart.  But, still there is sin and disobedience in our lives, and part of the work of the Holy Spirit is convicting us of our sins (John 16:8).  But the difference between God and most of the other judges in our lives is that He doesn’t just leave us in our guilt, in Christ He has truly paid our penalty, He truly forgives our sins, and it is His power within us that will overcome our sins. (1 John 1:9)  Smith comes back to this a couple of times – if there is no liberation, no leading through conviction to freedom, then we are experiencing a false guilt, a burden of conviction placed on us by ourselves or others, but not by God.

One of the most surprising things to many a devout Christian is that, while our mistakes and our sin are a problem, they’re not a problem God can’t work out if we open ourselves up to him.  And they don’t stop His love and His work in our lives, even through our lives, if, again, we are willing to turn to Him.  There are many examples of God working through people’s sin for his purposes (Gen 50:20).  That doesn’t mean our sin is a good thing, but it does mean it’s not big enough to stop God’s love and mercy from reaching us if we will receive Him. 

So we come to Him in conviction and we are liberated, once again, and we learn about and experience more of His incredible grace.

Last week I began a new blog series on Alone With The Lord, by Gordon T. Smith.  It’s a short book, mostly a simple structure for taking a day alone with God.  As it should, it leads you to scripture for most of the content for the day, scripture and the conversation between you and God.  The book breaks the day into four different parts with the first one focusing on, as I mentioned last week, the assurance of God’s love.

I wondered, as I wrote last week’s blog, if there were any readers who felt like responding, “Sure, assurance of God’s love sounds like a great thing, but how do I get there?  If we don’t feel, if we don’t know the assurance of God’s love in our hearts, is there anything we can do to start feeling it?”  That would have been my response, because there have many, many times and seasons in my life when I felt far from assured that God loved me.

One of the things I particularly appreciate about Smith’s writing is that he along with his sound theology and ideas, he gives practical steps for bringing these into your life.  And the practical step, the “discipline” that he leads us to for recognizing and feeling God’s love is gratitude.  Smith invites his readers to write down 10 things they are thankful for.  Then after a moment of silence, write 10 more and to continue this at least 3 to 4 times, writing 10 new things each time. Most of us can point to some things we are thankful for, but after we have written down the obvious and have to stretch to think of others, we begin to see more of God’s hand and faithfulness in our lives.

Smith isn’t the first to point to an attitude of gratitude as essential to Christian life, growth, and maturity.  He learned from St. Ignatius of Loyola, among others.  One of the disciplines St. Ignatius encouraged is called the Daily Examen.  The Daily Examen is a simple practice of writing down twice a day the events that have happened since you last wrote, something you’re grateful for in each event, and how you felt during the event. 

I decided to try the Daily Examen for a time several months ago.  After a few days I looked back at my examens and it was easy and revealing to see patterns of fear and anxiety in my feelings.  But, as I continued to practice the discipline and continued to find reasons to be thankful to God in my day, the patterns of my feelings began to change.  There was more peace, optimism, and hope, even some joy.  Practicing gratitude had begun to make a difference.

I suppose it’s easy enough to understand.  Practicing a habit of gratitude moves our focus from us to God, and we’ll see God’s love much more when we’re looking for it on regular basis.  It’s easy enough understand, but, like most good things, understanding really doesn’t get us that far.  It takes work, commitment, and consistency to begin to see changes in our lives.  The assurance of God’s love isn’t just a given that will fill our heart whenever we choose to turn it on, but has we open ourselves toward God, looking for Him and His love, we will find Him, and He is good.