Crashes

- posted by Len Thompson

A crash is not fun especially if it is related to your health.

I experienced an unfortunate crash after a doctor mistakenly prescribed a toxic dosage of medication that left me with multiple difficulties. Sometimes I could hardly judge the depth of field in my vision to walk down a set of stairs. Driving was difficult because of the many decisions required to navigate safely. And the fatigue was hard to battle.

It feels like a betrayal when your body and mind do not respond the way you can remember. I found myself talking slower and often unable to find the words that were in my brain but were inaccessible. I had to bow out of many activities I used to really enjoy.

 

After the medication problems wore off I had no resiliency. I had no energy and often couldn't care whether important things happened or not. I sometimes felt a dark deep pit open up in my emotions that I hoped I would somehow get through. Other times I was numb and really did not feel much at all. Often I has to fight the urge to drive anywhere to escape the monotony of every day.

 

My sense of identity was deeply shaken. I felt like a has been. About the same I became aware of a string of losses that had piled up unnoticed. The numbness had hidden the pain I felt. I had to grieve. It was the proverbial "perfect storm."

 

I could sense many distortions to my perception of reality. It was easy to think that everybody around me was going to betray me. It was easy to be irritable and grumpy. I could imagine conspiracies against me when common sense told me there were none.

Hope becomes hard at a time like that. The temptation to quit was huge but at least I somehow knew that what I was feeling and struggling against was not a true picture. I kept going. No matter how you get into a crash there still is the serious business of recovering and I kept my sights set on bouncing back.

Come listen to me debrief with Ben Reed (a friend who has debriefing training and experience) and also learn about my strategy for resiliency at a two-hour discussion at Fellowship Baptist on April 29, 2016.

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